once apon a midnight dreary...

"While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door."

So I had a visitor this morning. I got to the house around 8 AM and started going through my checklist of things to do and I hear this tapping sound that sounds like something is getting blown around by the wind in the courtyard or maybe someone is outside the house somewhere. Nevertheless, I became curious and proceeded to the second floor to look out onto the driveway...

Nothing... no cars... big wind gusts...no neighbors poking around...

...and then I hear the sound again, but this time it's right behind me.

Lo and behold there is a big black bird flying around the third floor, consistently banging his dome against the windows in a futile effort to escape. So, after a few tactical dive bomb dodges, I open the windows and he finds his way out.

But how the hell did he get in here?

I'm thinking, homeboy didn't have a key... there were no doors left open... no windows ajar... no ... Ahhh ha.... yes... now it makes sense. Because my roof soffit isn't finished, the bird flew in there and pushed his way past the insulation into the attic space. From there, he found his way through the hole in the third floor drywall ceiling. (The hole that had to be cut so the plumber could put a vent for the sewer line through the roof. A vent, mind you, that should have been done about six months ago. Don't ask me how that passed inspection.)

So let me take the time to thank a few people for my morning.

  • Thanks to Dummy for not finishing the roof and creating an inviting nesting site for local migratory fowl.
  • Thanks to Dummy again for hiring a sup-par sub-contractor plumber, who consistently amazes me with his incompetence.
  • Thanks to the plumber for waiting till after the drywall was up to get someone over to the house to finish the roof vent.
  • Thanks to the DC Inspection office for needing only a firm hand shake and a head nod as proof of legitimate work.