as good as it gets

I want to believe that there is going to be a magical moment when my thoughts about how beautiful the symmetry and synergy between architect and contractor can be, comes to fruition. Designer and Implementer.... Imagineer and Manifester....

It could be beautiful.

But instead... it is this.

The this that I speak of is the maylaisse that has me wondering why I'm the only one who wants to finish building this house. I mean... when I go to work, they pay me and I design buildings. Pretty straight forward. But some how, in this C+ student- constant excuse- vortex of residential building "professionals," normal 21st century supply and demand conventions do not apply.

I'm going to try going in to work tomorrow and ... no... actually... I'm going to NOT go in to work tomorrow and when my office calls me and asks me why I'm not there, I'll tell them that I'm waiting for yesterday's paycheck to clear. We'll see how that goes over.

Perhaps the union of which I yearn is an urban myth... a clandestine unicorn... just wishful thinking.

I wish... I wish....

I wish I had the free time, skill, and resources to build this house with friends, family and mid-day cocktails. I wish my house had windows. I wish I hadn't slept through my mechanical systems classes.(All of them) I wish that somebody involved in this project, who is not a loved one or relative, would surprise me with an unprompted, kind gesture.

Who am I kidding... I don't want kindness.... I want accountability.

We've ventured down this path before... so stop acting smug, nephew.